When you miss home so much...

"best not to bother with imperfections and concentrate on the good things that makes u happy when wit the person ^^"
- Nenek BS-Jo- 

Simply love nenek bs jo... (dno why i need to put such a long name). she's always the spicy-mouthed jo, blurting out curses and scolding foul languages and the 4-lettered-word whenever i feel like saying it.. she knows me so well that she helped me to shout it out cos she knows i don't say such things... thanks my dear, love u! =) 

enuf of crapping around, let's get on to serious matters.. 

realised i miss home so much lately.. i miss my frens back in KL.. many things happened, many things in my mind, many things changed, many things that i want to run away from... this sem seems to pass by very quickly... i reli am not counting down (and i need not count down) the day i'll be going home cos all i need to do is just *blink*  

gaps after gaps, misunderstanding after misunderstanding...  

the word tired is no longer suitable... i need a long vacation, away from university, away from everyone, so that i can think properly and thoroughly what exactly i want, what am i supposed to do... i long for a long walk, preferably a long stroll along the beach... (being in a family where there's no family vacation like other kids, i grow up feeling curious and excited over new places that i've seen on tv. my short term dream is to travel around malaysia, after that i'll travel around the world... sadly, the person who promised to help me realise my dream can no longer do so... ah! forget it!) 

beach... don't know why i am so attracted to beaches though i can't swim, i can't dive, i can't do -whatever-people-do-with-the-sea. don't know, i just simply love the natural wind... it seems to blow away someone's troubles, sadness, anger... especially people like me, who is so sensitive and paranoid. =) 

one thing that i know... many things that i have to learn to let go... many things that i have to learn to control... meikin, you've grown up.. u can no longer do whatever you want without taking into consideration other people's feelings.. if you have to sacrifice something to make everyone happy, do it... you'll feel happier... always this same thing i tell myself...   

time passes by so quickly that i realised it has been VERY long since i had a real chat with you. that was during MAP, in Cempaka, at night... where i told you how i feel not being told about "that news".. and i still rmb u saying "i think i can feel how u feel, don't know why..." i wish you can feel what i feel now.. all of a sudden i feel so far away from you.. i no longer knows anything about you, i feel so helpless i cant help you despite all your inner suffer (feelings) that u have posted in ur blog.. sorry.. really sorry for not spending time talking to u.. 

and to my Organic Chemistry 2... sorry for not spending enough time with you.. or maybe i was not concentrating when dating with you.. serve me right if i have to date you again next year... really sorry.. 

As for the time being, to those special someone(s) who had reside in my heart for quite some time already... it's time to let go.. =)

how i wish everything is perfect, with no worries and problems.. but if life is like that, i am sure i will complain that life is boring!!! that's human, never appreciate what they have till it's gone..

And for now, can i have a BIG TIGHT hug? =D