Nervous!

Results day : 31st January 2012


Enjoy Day : 30th January 2012
was already in the car... chatting & laughing loudly with friends... on the way to sing k... when suddenly this friend called me...


"C is fail or not?"
"nope... C- only fail"
"results out alr"
"i thought tomorrow? before i came out i checked, nth also"
"i just checked, out alr"
"owh... ok..."


Mood Spoilt!
was so quiet in the car, friends were alarmed. all the way moody, worried... and then the same friend smsed again


"Z got what results? he seemed moody"


SMS-ed him but he fell sick, after seeing his results
and i become more nervous...


Pei Yin invited me over to her house for feast today
rejected cos worry of results


I'm VERY worried too!!!
but have to stay calm cos i know he needs me... and have to stay calm cos need to comfort that friend of mine...


GRANT me PASS...
not C-, D, E, F or ath that shows FAIL... pleaseeeee.... i promise i'll be a good girl next sem... really good girl... 


Practise telling my dad
if i fail... how to tell him i'll extend one sem... 


the stress is actually from my family, instead of from myself... ahh... =(

That's LIFE

- What is the legal age of self-decision making?
No legal age, unless your parents passed away


- House is always the best place to seek comfort
All of a sudden, it become like a war zone. you never know when the bomb will explode, you never know when your room door will be opened and another scolding will continue...


serenity...
passing my Organic Synthesis & Natural Product Chemistry would be the best consolation at this time...


or else...
i don't know how i could smile again...

Efforts

have you ever face this kind of situation? you know it is close to impossible, but yet, because you believed there is still something called HOPE, you tried and make an effort, trying to make it become possible...


at the end... nobody sees your effort.... nobody even care what you did and how hard you tried... what you got will be just a firm NO


and definitely, it lowered your spirit, makes you feel pointless to continue your effort...


GOD knows best... 

Prioritizing...

something happened at home last night, which makes me feel like running away from home and going back to Sarawak... (normally at the 4th day of CNY i would alr be back at UNIMAS cos sem break will be over at that time)


however, one thing i am sure after yesterday's incident...


NO NEED TO RUSH in LOVE MATTERS


22 years old with just a degree. and already thinking about future? thinking of marriage? STOP IT MEI KIN!


just live each day as it comes... cos we never know when we are going to die... why worry over things which we might not encounter in future? why suffer from that, why be sad with that? who knows we might not even be able to live up till that day...


just let time decides and we just live to the fullest.... =)

All Written in Your Star...

don't know what's wrong with me this year... for all these while i've NEVER went for tilik nasib or those kind of thing... and even if i go to temple, i'll just pray for blessings for my family and my studies... but this year, don't know what's wrong with me...


- prayed for my studies
- prayed for my love
- went tilik nasib (actually not tilik nasib la, just "kao qim")


haha. maybe because he's not here with me this time. cos he'll always be the one saying "haiya, don't waste time tilik nasib. cheat ppl wan. tilik alr if good den u won't work hard, if bad means you'll keep on sad there". and he always say "wei, you pray for yourself and your family can alr ah... pray for health, for studies, for blessings... no need waste time pray love or ask god bless us to be together... cos if fated den it's fated, no need pray wan. most important is urself & family ahh..."


this time, mayb cos i'm going with my friends... i decided to give a try at everything... all that have been forbidden by him, all i did...


and the results?


got a bad tilikan... saying that this year not a smooth year, work hard also hard to get good returns... and... "Jodoh anda belum sampai... All is written in the stars... if it is meant to be, it is... if not, don't force..."


no wonder he had always stopped me from doing all these... cos he knows me so well... know that i'll be unhappy and keep on thinking about it... paranoid... =P


just hope i could grad on time... please......

SMS what?

i wonder what me n him sms all the time... when in the end of the day, it is other people who knows more about what is happening to me, rather than him...


and when i want to tell him stories about happenings around me, it always got stuck somewhere... whether he's busy or i'm busy, ending up we said nothing, he knows nothing...


in fact... mr. star2 knows more about me... 


what's happening? =(

Let It Shine...

"No matter how much star on the sky, thre will one and only one star that will keep on shine on you"

"If one star is stop shining upon u, thre will be other star to watch over u. Open ur eye (heart) to watch the sky and then u will see again the star shine on u like the previous star always, it will watch over u, wishing u keep on smiling, do the best in life coz the star doing the best to shine on u"

messages received from one person last night... bukan bintang saya yang saya cerita aritu... tapi org lain.... 

walaupun english dlm msg tu agak messy, but if u read it twice u'll understand... or at least it is enuf i understand.. ^^

*tiba2 mcm terlebih bintang pulak.... =P

Ketua

Ketua...
- fikir utk anak buah dulu (orang yg bekerja BERSAMA anda)
- fikir utk siapa anda berkhidmat (orang yang memilih kamu)
- fikir utk diri sendiri...


undeniable, relationship with those who elected you are important... but NOTHING is more important than strengthening your relationship with WHO you work WITH, first! cos how can u work for people if you are not doing well with those who work WITH you?


degil, ego dan sewaktu dengannya... 
buanglah jauh-jauh! 


andai kata kamu kata kamu pemimpin 
yang baik, 
yang disegani, 
yang dihormati... 


dahulukan kebajikan orang yang memilih kamu... 
dahulukan apa yang terbaik untuk mereka...
dan bukannya dahulukan ego kamu...
kepentingan diri kamu...
sehingga mengabaikan keperluan orang yang mempercayai kamu...


be someone who others believe who you are!
be someone who they thought you were!
be the leader everyone thought highly of,
everyone loved!


i can't forever be there to remind you and assist you...
and now,
when you no longer wants to listen to what i have to say...
i guess i have no other alternatives to tell you the other side of everything you are thinking...
cos you are too simple-minded to think things two sides...
but who i am now...
when you no longer wants to listen to me




just remember 2 things...


- who elected you
- what is the reason they elect you


may you find the right path soon... 

Bintang ku....

"Sy harap sy blh jd bintang dlm hidup awak. wlpun chy x seterang bulan (zami :p). tp tetap ada. kdg2 xdapat dilihat dilindung awan tapi semua tau dan percaya y bntang tu sntiasa ada"

5 Jan 2012

23.38.36

dulu aja slalu citer pasal bintang dalam hidup dia... bintang yg sms & call dia tiap2 hari, bintang yg sentiasa ada di sisi dia di kala dia perlukan nya... bintang yg akn bg surprise & lagu kat dia di kala dia sedih...

tu lah sebab apabila tiba2 dpt msg kat atas tu (time tu tgh makan kat warung lepas study kat cais...), hati rasa mcm tersentuh sgt3... macam terharu nak nangis... mcm nk sbut nama org tu dan peluk dia sambil nangis... (sangat lah exaggerate)

tapi makin lama, makin lah sedar... yang tak semua bintang sama... sebab keadaan setiap orang tu berlainan, bintang pun berlainan jugak... hihihi

so kpd bintang sy...

*baru dpt sms dari dia kata dah sampai kampung*

take care always k...

mei2 akn cari bintang di langit stiap kali perlukan kamu... ^^

terima kasih kerana menjadi bintang sy... =)

Let It...

i'm not a good girl to be made gf, and i admit that... that's why i do not want to start a relationship... just want to get married (cos of parents' WISH) with anyone, even if i dun love them, so that i will not hurt anyone i love...


and friends are very important to me... before i can make sure that i won't ignore or mengabaikan any of my friends because of the word "LOVE", no way for me to start a relationship... 


that's why i don't really like "quality time for 2 person" so much, cos it lessen my time with friends, and make me feel bad for leaving my friends...


so don't love me... =)

S.I.L.E.N.C.E

aha.... so much that he had done for me, the least i could do was just sit silently beside him when i sensed he's not at all happy...

after all, he doesn't wana tell me what makes him troubled... but i know that there's something... he lost his motivation, his determination... but there's nothing i can do to help...

sitting beside, both listening to own music player, own song lists... seeing him study a bit, and me myself? i finished my progress report! hehe

it's not that bad after all, right? at least i am not wasting any time chatting, nor am i gossiping... just silence, and work DONE! 

wish he'll know that though i cant do ath, but i am always there for him when he's unhappy... =)

exactly like what he did to me... 

ADIOS~!!! ^^

Reflections...

being a love... to show that you love one another...

why must human relate something as beautiful as LOVE with things like SEX, BODY CONTACTS, KISSES, HUGGINGS, etc...?

just a random thought of mine... must it be only with those things that you can prove you love someone? why can't there be a sincere & pure love...?

i've always been dreaming of a pure & sincere relationship/love... one without any "excessive" contacts... 

love can be shown in many ways, but why must we show it through sex, and other irrelevant methods? for i think you'll see real & sincere love when you eliminate those actions from your list of must-do-when-dating...

"love is still loving each other, and maybe even deeper feelings, although there is a distinct distance between the two of you..."

that's why i am keeping my relationship status FREE now, till the day i met that special someone... maybe it is too much of a demand, someone who doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't cheat & ...

love me just like that... even without sex, without extreme body contacts...

that, will be my future husband... ^^

i don't care if i don't love him at 1st... cos i am sure if he is this kind of person, sooner or later i'll fall for him also... hehehehe

ah... simpler said...

"love me, marry me."

and not...

"love me, touch me, dump me..."

* wishing for a love that would last till marriage... ^^ or maybe even better, marry 1st, then we'll date... hehehehe