i dno why i am feeling this way when i see both of them sitting on the stairs, chatting together when i arrive this morning....

i dno why i am feeling this way when i see her reaction when i told her about it.....

i dno why i am feeling this way when i see him look at me....

what happen to my heart and my brain? i can't seem to process anything.... i feel my feelings and thoughts are getting more and more complicated.... what happened to me??

i just hope that feeling is not the feeling that i've been dreading upon.... please spare me from this feeling.... i am tired....

I DID NOT DO THAT!!!!

i hate those kind of ppl who do things last minute... and push things to ppl last minute to do... so why on earth am i one of them?

lately, i've been having some problem wit my coursemates... i can no longer call them frens... my fren, terri, was right... better to treat them just as coursemates, rather than friends... they said in uni u cant find true frens... i beg to differ. u CAN find true frens, but it's just that my coursemates now arent my true frens

if u ask me what's the reason of the strain relationship btwn me and my coursemates dis sem, sorry, i cant answer u. it's not cos it's P & C (private & confidential), it's just that i also dno whats d reason. 

when i asked dem, they said i'm thinking too much. when all d malays frens are asking me what's wrong with our gang, when all of them noticed sth's wrong, they said that i'm sensitive?


and when things start getting better, another tornado attacks...


i was in group A for inorganic lab... and when i see group B has oni 2 ppl, and cos i treat them as frens, i volunteered to join their group instead. and my move turned out to be wrong.


since i joined d group for lab, my frenship with all of them getting worse and worse...


one question...


we did d experiment on monday... my group member is supposed to do d calculation part, but out of pity, i volunteered to help her wit tat... 24 hours later, on tuesday, i told her i cant help her cos i hav many unfinished assignments... all of dem started their statistics tutorial (3 or 4 out of 5 questions alr) and i still haven even touch d paper. so i honestly told her i cant help her.


and turn out... she asked me next time dun tell her LAST MINUTE,,, d report is due next monday, wich has approximately 6 more days...


d question is.... am i wrong? i reli gave her d job last minute as she said?


i feel i'm not wrong... cos i told her d next day... and there's plenty of time for her to finish dem up


i'm open to opinions though....


and cos of this... one by one start posting ugly statuses... backstabbing me... tiu me... say hate me dis dat...


one by one.... one person post, settle, d next person post, settle, another person post, settle... and it continues.....


i'm tired with all these......... why problems after problems occur..... i feel like shouting them out...


when they left out one part of the lab report (they din do tat part though it was assigned to dem)... i din say ath, just go to d lecturer's office and filled up tat part ON THE SPOT. AFTER WE PASSED UP D REPORT. i tot this is wat we called LAST MINUTE?


and when they passed me a whole microsoft word (entire document) is copy paste material from internet... i did not even say out anything... i just shout in my heart, hit d table, and help dem edit... what make things worse is... both of them copy paste from the SAME website, thus i hav same isi for tat... did i say ath? did i backstab dem on fb? did i even say ath to dem? did i even ask dem redo? NO! and i was typing it like an essay - own isi, own words...


so what i get for return? what i get after being patient for so long and keep everything to myself, cos i dun wan backstab dem, i dun wan post dem on fb, i dun wan to even hurt dem...


so i deserve it? i deserve d posT? saying i go library everyday but cant manage to finish up my assignments, fb whole day in library? what she knows? did she ever use d google and try find d info i'm finding? mayb she just tembak and write whatever she saw without editing/reading d material... so she does not know d hardness of finding d info...


can i leave this place? full of horror? i dont know how long i can survive... 


god, please bless me with the patience and kindness to forgive them....


and Mei Kin shall forgive them all... cos they are her friends, although they might not treat her as one...


may god open up their hearts to be more mature... and neutralised their acidified mouth with the strongest alkali ever found... =)

things have not been very smooth lately... actually shud be dis sem.... quarrels quarrels quarrels and endless quarrels again.... then, just like small kids, cold war just because of i-also-don't-know-what-is-the-reason punya reason...

breathless.... that's all i can say...

i really miss my frens... true frens, not those who will stabbed ur backs behind you... writing how evil u r behind ur backs...

i had this fren who... i dno has what problem, but i suspected something, and i highly recommend her to go fro counselling sessions... she keeps on writing about how evil we are, how bad we treated her, we betrayed her, how uncomfortable and unhappy she is...

but on the other hand, in class, she was happily sitting together with us, pretending as if nothing happened, which makes me never suspect her of having any trouble with us... i thought she's just normal, and nothing is bothering her, mana tau suddenly heard from frens about whaat she posted on facebook...

i need someone to hear me out... to comfort me... to watch me from afar.... preventing me from falling... or to sms me to show at least someone cares for me?

haixxxx..... =(



 

i missed my own smile... someone... please help me!!!!!