Surviving

I am alive

I am surviving 

I wish I have something like a end-of-challenge reward in the form of a vacation to look forward to

Call me immature, call me childish. But such a reward waiting for me at the end of a challenge/hardship/hardwork makes me work harder and wanting to success faster

I have a 2-month-challenge which I told NO ONE, except one of my best friend who successfully placed a wild guess

Day after day, I lose hope on the challenge

Not because I don't want to accept it, NO!

I accept the challenge with mix feelings, but day after day, I realise it is getting harder

Things are spoiling, and I am spending more and more to buy and get it done. 

Methods after methods fail, till I was even told to put a stop on that. 

How can I not give up, how can I not lose hope?

Yes, I am stronger than this. 

I started it, so I shall end it...

I am living

I am breathing

I am surviving...