Membisu Seribu Bahasa

yup, you are right... took the title of this post from one of Faizal Tahir's songs : Hanyut

it feels terribly pain when i started this blog with the intention of saving papers writing diaries (yes, mei kin wrote diaries. since Standard 3... Since 9 years old), but end up i can't express my feelings in this blog when i need to do it so badly


i heard someone asking WHY?

simply because when i am typing my post (even at this moment when i am typing this sentence), i take into consideration my readers. i think of who will read about this, what they will do, and how they will think/react.

feeling that i am so hypocrite that i need to lie even to my blog... i need to say that i am well, happy and all-positive-feelings when in reality, it is the other way round.

there are things that i wish i could express out at this moment, yet i am forced to keep them in my heart because i don't want certain people to know about it...

and all these come back to the reason why i wish to keep this blog away from public eyes...

yet i got cheap publicities here and there, promoting my blog at places i don't even know, and all of a sudden, i've got a new follower...

now, where should i express my feelings?