A.P.O.L.O.G.I.Z.E

wonder why so many of my friends having "PMS" lately...
* PMS = Pre-Mesntrual Syndrome  refers to a wide range of physical or emotional symptoms that typically occur about 5 to 11 days before a woman starts her monthly menstrual cycle


it seems like those "affected" individuals are moody all of a sudden, avoiding me for reasons i don't know. and ironically, both of them are BOYS.


GUYS have PMS too? yeah, literally... and more severe than girls do, i can say...


and it is my habit to say sorry to someone whenever i sensed they are not talking to me. i said sorry sometimes not because i noe i'm wrong, but because i'm afraid i did something wrong which i don't realize. 

but the sincere apologies turn to be something that makes your heart says "it's ok... be patient... sabar... calm down... don't get angry, don't bother what he says..." when you see him posting in his FB status, as if it is REALLY your fault. padahal you did NOTHING and know NOTHING!


ah... that's life... and from there, i learn to be patient, control my emotions, take a deep breath and 

as if nothing happened...


that's the least i could do to make MYSELF happy... =)

Lesson of The Day : Learning from Mistake =)

maybe it is really my fault for choosing people based on 1st impression... cos the cruel fact is : 

1ST IMPRESSION KILLS!

no more choosing depending on 1st impression! no more people who can't handle stress, and in turn, make me stress!!!! i've got enough to bear by myself, to think for myself, and sometimes no time at all to think for other people. might sound bad and cruel, but this is FACT! who is going to care for me if not myself? if i care for others, who is going to care for me, think of my feelings, help me solve my problems???

it is especially more tension-ing when people around you are CREATING stress for themselves. one simple thing, yet they need to make it till as if it's a BIG deal, and that REALLY bothers me alot, cos it seems like it's a big problem though it is not...

STRESS MANAGEMENT !!!! ^^

Human...

human can be really different at different times...


at times, they can be very soft to you, talking with soft tones, softly, politely, sweetly...


and at another time, they changed... to be total strangers, not even saying "hi" to you...


i really dun understand human... and am trying very hard to understand...


at the mean time, just pretending to be stupid, closing both eyes to everything around me... 


after all, i am human as well... =)

Support VS Love

many times in life, you have to make a decision, whether you like it or not... decision that makes you think many times, many things to consider...


i love my college... i love it so much that i cried when we lose for Malam Rumpun Budaya Competition... i never measure how much i love my college, and i never knew about it till that day when i cried...


and yet... he represented other college for Street Soccer competition... playing for other college, getting number 3....


that's not the main point...


the main point is... getting himself injured, bleeding... 


when one wound is deepened by another wound... 


the feeling is complicated... 


maybe it is not the time yet for me to open up my heart and love someone...

I'm Not Perfect

i tried my best to do the best... though i know i am not perfect...

"Tegurlah saya andai kata saya silap... Tolong lah jangan berdingin dengan saya..."

i love JPK... i love my friends...

and i miss the name "Exco Publisiti & Informasi"

i really love the job of being this exco... so sorry to the current exco... for all mistakes and wrongs i've done...

IMY

finished Pesta Konvo, with many issues and problems occuring... Thank GOD i have friends supporting me all the time, till i can survive and overcome all those nonsense problems...


and everything makes me miss him more...

My Life now...

- was in the car with my best fren the other day... a fren who sort of quarrelled (cold war) for few days... cant help but cried in car... cos in my mind, i keep thinking "if i know such thing will happen, i would not have continued my battle. if i know you want to distance urself from the new jpk, i would not have joined it at the 1st place..."

"still in process of transition..away from love,away from care,away from joy..learn to keep 

quiet,

 be alone, just myself...it's HARD for me..I know you will NEVER forgive me..and for a 

VAMPIRE, HARD & NEVER are among the most painful,infinite crapping that we have to 

face.."

- difficulties when i have to juggle few jobs... being a vice president, a personal assistant, a secretary, a publicity & information exco... and of course, a final year student...

- suddenly feel so tired with things around me, especially when i can hardly spend any time with my best friends, unlike before... 

- worse still, skipping meetings done by best friends cos i have other commitments on hand...

- no regret, mei kin just need some time to re-adjust her life...

and everything will be back to normal... she'll smile once more... =)

*hopefully*