Support VS Love

many times in life, you have to make a decision, whether you like it or not... decision that makes you think many times, many things to consider...


i love my college... i love it so much that i cried when we lose for Malam Rumpun Budaya Competition... i never measure how much i love my college, and i never knew about it till that day when i cried...


and yet... he represented other college for Street Soccer competition... playing for other college, getting number 3....


that's not the main point...


the main point is... getting himself injured, bleeding... 


when one wound is deepened by another wound... 


the feeling is complicated... 


maybe it is not the time yet for me to open up my heart and love someone...

I'm Not Perfect

i tried my best to do the best... though i know i am not perfect...

"Tegurlah saya andai kata saya silap... Tolong lah jangan berdingin dengan saya..."

i love JPK... i love my friends...

and i miss the name "Exco Publisiti & Informasi"

i really love the job of being this exco... so sorry to the current exco... for all mistakes and wrongs i've done...

IMY

finished Pesta Konvo, with many issues and problems occuring... Thank GOD i have friends supporting me all the time, till i can survive and overcome all those nonsense problems...


and everything makes me miss him more...

My Life now...

- was in the car with my best fren the other day... a fren who sort of quarrelled (cold war) for few days... cant help but cried in car... cos in my mind, i keep thinking "if i know such thing will happen, i would not have continued my battle. if i know you want to distance urself from the new jpk, i would not have joined it at the 1st place..."

"still in process of transition..away from love,away from care,away from joy..learn to keep 

quiet,

 be alone, just myself...it's HARD for me..I know you will NEVER forgive me..and for a 

VAMPIRE, HARD & NEVER are among the most painful,infinite crapping that we have to 

face.."

- difficulties when i have to juggle few jobs... being a vice president, a personal assistant, a secretary, a publicity & information exco... and of course, a final year student...

- suddenly feel so tired with things around me, especially when i can hardly spend any time with my best friends, unlike before... 

- worse still, skipping meetings done by best friends cos i have other commitments on hand...

- no regret, mei kin just need some time to re-adjust her life...

and everything will be back to normal... she'll smile once more... =)

*hopefully*

Being MYSELF~!!! ^^

i got what i want... at last!


and that's my aim at the 1st place, competing for JPK...


not to get a post, but just to guide so that a leader will be born..


i did not aim for president, but i am for timbalan presiden 1, cos i know very well my task continuing JPK is not to overshadow juniors to lead, but to guide them to lead


some might say that i am just showing off to others cos i did not get president. whatever it is, i know what i am doing, i know what i did is right... i know i am doing the right thing...


and i am proud i am not overtaken by greed, that i am still able to hold on to my own will till the end, that i did not accept the offer to be president cause the evil side of me ask me to...


I AM PROUD OF MEIKIN! ^^

To Continue or not...

few months ago, i said NO...

few weeks ago, i said I ALSO DON'T KNOW...

few days ago, i said YES, I AM OUT FOR IT...

few hours ago, i said OK, I'M NOT GOING...

wondering what i am talking about? about Jawatankuasa Perwakilan Kolej (JPK).... gonna leave it soon... a family, after a year of busy-ness and tired-ness... after a year of class-skippings and quizzes-missing...


should i continue, or should i retire just like that? i love it too much to let go... to people who tell me they wanted to be a JPK, but when i ask "why do you want to be a JPK?" they answered "cos i want to get college"


but being a jpk without a gang of fren is no fun... 


being a jpk when final year project is here, is of no fun also...


what can i do... 

Release Tension

bila lagi nak blogging kalau bukan sekarang kan? line at college is REALLY bad, considering the high intake of students.


actually baru balik dari kuching. merayau pagi-pagi... ^^


starting of sem is REALLY bothering me. with Final Year Project (FYP), events, activities and LAZINESS


skipped 1st day of class, on Monday, due to laziness + tiredness from juniors' orientation week. HAIHZ... tot wanna get full attendance this sem! >.<


quite random, during orientation week cried when my college lost in cheers competition. this mei kin, sot sot wan! this also wanna cry...


honestly, that moment, on my mind were these things... "hopes from abg salihin, abg ezral, abg hisham... and all other seniors... those who cant join me during this orientation... i've promised them victories from my college, but i fail to do it..." mayb crying is the way i release all the mix feelings in my heart. cried really hard, but is a way to release bottled up feelings and stress too la... heheh. when i see abg salihin's replies, that made me cry more... lol


talking about crying, feel uneasy this whole week. motivation gone, mood gone. nothing that can make me start my engine to work hard.


after jaga stor just now, was playing songs and singing out loud in my room, tot it is a way to release stress...


1.00am... ammar smsed and asked whether wanna go out anot... straight away agreed... and called up a few other ppl... namely abg salihin, mathew & farid. off we went out! =P


thats y i love campus life. can go out whenever i want, whenever i feel stress. lol


lepak at waterfront... walked around, disturbing ppl dating... sat down and chat and laughed... 


next, went to Raja Ayam Bakar, had some really hot and spicy sambal...


then drift on road, driver : abg salihin.... the wind : soothing! ^^


me, driving back to college from bhep, forced by abg salihin... =.='''


these are those few little things that managed to make me happy and smile again. heart felt much lighter...


in fact, i felt as if i've cried WHOLE DAY NOW!!! =))


if i were a Sim, i'm now in excellent mood! ^^


alright, a random, short summary of what happened to me these few days. now, OFF to sleep with a huge SMILE on my face!


love everyone... =D