Just now someone i blocked before (an anonymous) approached me on msn and started a chat with me.

=)

u r?

Hi, i am gina. i hope you dun mind, found your contact from yahoo directory

and then?

i am from mogascar, cali. you r from?

kari, malacca (simply create this name. children out there, please learn from me. NEVER give your real name/address to strangers ^^)

oh, do you have a cam? i luv flirting with mine

continue flirting by yourself then

i mean, do you want to see me in cam?

why should i? 

anyway, i dun like to hav video conversation in chat rooms like this. cos i've been recorded once =(

oic

pls click on xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (a link) and we can have a one to one conversation

sorry but i prefer msn     

(mine are the purple ones and hers are the orange ones)

overall, so long din show my sarcasm, now finally had a chance to do it! SUPERB!!! =)
   
      

ATTENTION

i will be changing my blog address soon... so whoever still want to read my blog, please do inform me so that i can pass you the new blog address k?

thank you 

and sorry for any inconvenience caused... ^^
   

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=108769705821188

try visiting this link... cos this post is about how i feel after looking at the pictures...

1Malaysia photography contest organised by Taylors University College... theme SATU... i browsed through and there are 5xx photos inside...

Honestly, those photos need improvements...

i dun feel this bad if the photo is BAD and the caption that come with it is BAD as well

but the problem now is that... the photo is BAD, cincai-ly taken but with EXCELLENT captions... captions which makes me say "whoa! meaningful! agree! great! nice one!"

OR!!!! the photos make me gasping "fuiyohhh~~~" but the captions... "haihzzzzz"

that's not all... there are some photos with clearly ALL malays or ALL chinese and they put the theme "1Malaysia" and the caption "we represent 1Malaysia"

that's clear clear CLEAR people who don't understand 1Malaysia!

1Malaysia, for me, means diversity in one (malays chinese indians kadazans dusuns ibans melanaus etc in one country, malaysia) and not one in one (one race in one country). 

look at those pictures and you'll understand why i am so pissed off...

         

I AM BACK AT UNIMAS~~~~

haiya... stupid me loorrrr... see many friends plan to take up intersession (or short sem/third sem) i also semangat berkobar-kobar want take up... mana tau 5 minutes course registration open, already full all subjects... i get to register one also consider lucky lo. but also consider stupid cos ONE subject, TWO credit hour... also want go back take. waste time betul.... itulah meikin... only know follow friends...

at last what happened? all friends gave up on taking intersession... and they are so LUCKY that they haven't bought air tickets!!! and this stupid meikin already bought her tickets, have to go back lo... reli *stupid* (hit her own head)

many plans in her head also cannot be realised cos of this... plans like lepak at tasik every evening lo.... HAIHZ.... LOSER... =( giving up her TWO-month-long holiday... and all her GREAT plans during the holiday... =(((( FEEL WANT CRY ARRR~~~~ LOL =D

initially planned want do MANY things during this holiday de lor... include :

a) go back KB visit my dear students and teachers

b) go Penang

c) go Melaka

d) Langkawi

e) Redang

f) beaches

g) hills

h) relax

i) relax

j) relax

k) relax

in short is after relax still is relax... but stupid me go take intersession just cos of that stupid ONE subject and TWO credit hours... =.=''' (langgar dinding)

well well welllll... passed liao means passed liao... taking means taking, can't change any fact though heart still feel very pain... =(

what makes my heart more pain is the fact that

a)  i miss my mommy

b) i miss my sis

c) i miss my home/family

d) i miss the food at home

e) i miss my friendsssssss.... **seriously seriously miss them... like want to hug them till their bones breaks...**

f) i felt ignored by *someone*

mmm.... IGNORED is not a good feeling you know... when you chat with someone online but that person did not reply your messages, instead they replied OTHERS' messages... when that person called OTHER people instead of you to pass something to YOU

well... eh, obviously i am BIG enough to be noticed, i did not eat GLASS when growing up, and i am right in FRONT of you k... =S 

HENCE, sifu meikin concluded that such people is best left IGNORED cos at least when he/she is ignored, he/she will call you when he/she needs you, instead of you ASKING them whether they need any help

ALRIGHT! ignore them! =) 

 

don't know since when he had become so important in my life... confused... too many things in my mind that i don't have answers... i need peace... i need calmity... i need serenity....

i was already very sad today because the intersession that i planned to take has all been taken... even those that i do not want to talk also had been taken... all subjects full...

then during lunch today... i heard something... and that something is the thing that make me so confused with my own feelings, make me so sad, make me have feelings that i cant even describe with words...

"saya dah tak larat dah dengan chemistry... next sem nak tukar course"

why this sentence hit me like sword... giving an undescribable feelings? 

the feeling that i am gonna lose a fren... i am gona lose someone very close to me...

and i let my imagination wanders...

next sem... i will see him with new coursemates...

next sem... how many times we can meet again?

and when we meet each other, i will become like one of his other frens now... just a hi and smile... then go...

must all my friendships turn that way?

or should i be grateful that this time, it didn't turn ugly.. didn't end up like strangers who don't know each other... just like what happened to me with the previous 2 guy frens...

maybe like what i said before... the meikin theory which never once fail...

meikin's theory said that... meikin can't be close to any guys... once close, things sure will turn ugly... such as quarrel... and at last sure turn out to be total strangers...

and these are not theories without proves... already proven twice...

ya... maybe meikin can't really be friends with guys... sure something will happen... she have no fate with any guys... maybe she should be lesbian instead?

haha.... very funny, meikin...

haihz... let me let go of a BIG sigh... please...

 HAIHZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

god... please... let him stay by my side.... be my closest fren... just let thing freeze at this second... please....

          
        

WEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~~~~~~ 

MEI KIN IS NOW OFFICIALLY 20 YEARS OLD!!!

i repeat myself.....

20 years old!!!!!!!!! TWENTY years old!!!!!!!!!!!

so stop wishing me 21 years old k? LOL~~

but surely i'm not talking abt this in my blog.... so... here's my version...

before this, i hid my birth date from fb profile... the purpose is so that my 'friends' will not celebrate it for me... i don't want to face the situation whereby they celebrate with me for the sake of celebrating... for the sake of "oh... she celebrated our birthday with us... so we also must celebrate with her"

i dun wan the situation whereby i can see their hypocrisy and have to pretend i din see anything... pretend to be surprised and excited they celebrated with me. i dun wan to act and pretend and unhappy during my birthday... at least not on my birthday... any other day will be ok... i still can do it... but during my birthday, i want it to be MY day... happy and do things i LIKE.

unfortunately, what i dread of come true...

one of them called me asking me to go down... with the excuse "So long din see u. come down and let me see you xia" 

1st step already failed. even the way they ask me to go down also i can see their ketidakikhlasan. i know many will criticize me for not being grateful. many will say "teruk lah mei kin. ppl susah payah celebrate with her she like that criticize ppl"

but this is my blog, i am just expressing what i feel here. for me, if there's no sincerity, then don't do it. don't pretend. don't make me and you unhappy. FINISH.

and when i go down... d normal birthday song thing. then candle-blowing session.

got candle but no flame.

pathetic enough. and they were asking me to "pretend as if got flame". ok. i pretended. then? "pretend to blow the cake". ok. i pretended. they laughed happily. after that? "pretend to make wishes". 

i simply said i wished already. sedangkan the fact is i haven't even wish for anything yet.

what makes me so unhappy and what makes me dun wan them to celebrate for me is the fact that i don't know how to react to their "celebration"...

should i...

feel happy eventhough i am not?

feel sad cos of their lack of sincerity?

no matter what i feel, i still have to appreciate what they are doing. this is the part i don't like. honestly, i am a bad actress. i do not know how to act. i show my emotions. i show my feelings on my face. cos why must i appreciate when they are not putting any efforts?

on the other hand, the angel side of me said that at least they celebrated for me. so no matter how unhappy i am, i still have to pretend to be happy and smile and excited, as a symbol of appreciation...

it is hard when your devil side said something and your angel side say something else...

what happen in the end?

i thought of finding a calm place to sit down alone and think back everything rationally. i feel like finding a place alone to cry.

why cry?

cos feeling unsatisfied why i put so much effort on celebrating their birthday but they put NO effort in celebrating my birthday...

i bought lighter to light up the candle... i think and plan of storyline so that my friends will be surprised (yes, they were all surprised on THEIR birthdays. my plans turned out successful most of the time) and they end up REALLY happy that some even say very touched etc etc... i put so much effort on their birthday and yet? this is what i get...

no matter how good i try to be, my dear readers, i am still a human. i have negative side too. so, please let me express my negative side here. if not, where else?

in fact, it is all my other friends with their simple acts that makes my birthday memorable...

a group of malay ladies singing happy birthday song happily, energetically to me right after my birthday... 

Nasya singing birthday song with her sweet and soft voice in lakeview cafe...

Eysmie with his sarcastic remarks of me getting older when i thought he's not going to wish me...

Abang Mathew ajak me eat dinner with him... and tagged me in a photo in fb with a tag that made me cry cos too touch... sometimes cakes doesn't always have to have candles... it will spoil the cake... especially cake like this

simple simple things that doesn't need money... doesn't need planning.... spontaneous acts which come true from their hearts... which i can feel their sincerity...

that's what makes me happy and blessed to live for 20 years....

of course... not forgotten... a looong night walk to clear up my mind and feeling... sitting at the jeti while immersing my legs on the huge and magnificent Tasik Unimas... while looking at the two-more-days-to-full-moon moon.... and chatting with a friend...

that makes up all the kekurangan in my birthday...

a HUGE thank you to ALLLLLLLLLLLLL of them who did all these simple things for me... =)

and i am blessed to have lived for 20 years... i am grateful i am blessed with friends like this... ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY DEARLY BELOVED GAL, MEI KIN.... (n.n)