was waiting for its arrival... cos someone lut alr accidentally leaked out to me tat a 'letter' is on d way~~~
* was expecting a 4 pages letter lor...*
it was actually a sweet yellow envelope...
see d writing... so familiar... feel so warm... ^^
lik d cat and d fish sooooo much!!! =) sumore it's PINK background!!! reli got my heart ne...
dis is d 1st of a kind... haha. d 1st consolation i got for my results lor. at least, it reli reli reli makes me smile. especially when read wat he wrote, reli 'sweet tooth got itchy' ar... sumore put very weird weird de phrases. haha.
but feel kinda weird n guilty... his birthday but i got d surprise... errr... sorry lor.... next time i ganti back for u ah... (n.n)
YALA! I AM MOST STUPID MOST DUMB MOST USELESS!!! HAPPY?!!!!! NO NEED TELL ME ABOUT IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no wonder ppl oways ask me dun trust d wrong person, dun admire d wrong person, cos she is NOT WORTH ME ADMIRING HER!!!!!!! EAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, another day of comments on my results... endless la wei!!!
today dere's one teacher, miss A hu talked to me. at 1st wat she said are fact, i oso admit i can actually do better (who won't! everyone sure can do better if given another chance)
ya.. i admit tat i was too busy in skul till used up sum time in coco lor. but den i did try very very much to do my best... i did wana get good results oso. i did study and do exercises... for me i reli reli tried my best... it seems lik no one believe me...
Miss A was, though whispering, but saying loudly about many many things in front of an afternoon session teacher. tat noon teacher is one teacehr dat i dun reli lik, dat i dun wan him to see i let ppl scold,...
one more hurt de... she said my results reli bad... d 1st teacher hu said tat lor... i was soooooooo hurt... she said sure many other ppl got better results den me la, ask me dun take science courses cos i mite not b able to get, cos many better results de,.
suddenly feel i reli stupid... reli stupid for getting such results. though i admit beginning i mite cos coco so ignore my studies a bit, but den alr over, y think over it.. y she wan force me asnwer her... why she wants me to feel so bad...
anyway, today my last day... glad i no need hear any comments, can peacefully shut off my ears and decide on my courses!!
just finish one day, another day come... let's see wat ppl in skul hav got to say...
MR CHUA - Mk, how's ur results? - not very good... also not very very bad... - 4As ah? * stunned *
PN JALILAH - camne mei kin? - tak bagus... * she looked at d results, speechless for a while... den... * - ok lah tu...
PN SHARIFAH - MK! how's ur results?? - teacher, dun expect too much... - o...k... - nah... - MEIKIN!!!!!!! i expected straight As from you!!!!! wat happen??????
MISS ASSUNTA - if u need to talk to me, just call me anytime ok...
PN NORAIHAN - ok lah tu... anyway congrats
EN CHAI - 3.25 ok wat...
PN CHAI - MK, dun so greedy ah... dun always hope can get straight As only.. congrats...
EN HUSEN - apa yang salah mei kin? mengapa boleh macam nie? ish....
MISS LIONG - enuf good alr la... maybe tats all? but all dis is enuf to make me feel greatly unhappy... feel i disappoint dem... haixxxx
Start off by reading newspaper… the horoscope section says that there’s a bit of luck at my side. I got pretty happy and excited. And then my dad asked me to go to the bank to bank in my cheque (my latest salary pay, only rm5xx)
There’s this OKU with crutches standing in front of me, having problem getting his number. So I helped him. And den wait and wait and wait….
Suddenly one old man (born in 1932) came and mumble sth tat I dun understand. And then dis Indian lady did sth tat looks lik “offering her help”. Later, d next number is announced (u noe la, in bank they got d number, den dey’ll announce d number d ma) den d Indian lady came to me and said “you please help him” or sth lik tat…
Rupa-rupanya tat uncle dno how to fill in d form. And when his number is called, d lady behind d counter just pass him a form, ask him to fill it up. Sudd feel tat d lady is just sooooooooo evil. Cant she help d old man who cant read BM? And den d old man keep mumble “last time they help me fill in de…”
I just fill in his name n his IC and account number (tats how I noe he’s born in 1932). Den he started mumbling over wat he want to do again… tat moment I feel so stupid cos my Cantonese is so bad, I cant barely understand wat he meant… -.-!!!
After finished I went n see d number on d screen. I got a shock knowing my number sudah terlepas! I pergi cari d paper bearing my number, mana tau rupa-rupanya got ppl take d advantage when I help d old man, to take d paper (I put d paper on d table when help d old man fill up his form). Geram!
And den I took a new number and waited… know wat I heard? Funeral music.
Den as I walked home, I saw a stream of ppl… it’s a funeral march la. I keep telling myself not to look not to look not to look… dat moment I start having dis thought “does it means sth bad is going to happen?”
Went to skul at 11.39am. My dad who still do not believe tat today is result day, said “if get results already call me a”. Apa tidak. The Star paper takde keluar. TV1 tak announce. Oni The Star online got.
Den I waited n waited n waited. I actually wanted to take leave, but my colleague cum STPM mate asked me dun take leave, accompany him. So I stupidly and innocently agreed lor. Mana tau when I call him he said “I think I’m taking MC today” (yala… he sounded so sick)
Immediately I asked a teacher to help me inform another teacher who’s in charge of relief tat I’m taking leave. End up d teacher came out and asked me talk to Mr Chua myself. Apa tidak. Everyone saw me in skul. Sudd I wan take leave. So I hav to go library (where dere’s teachers’ meeting dat day), accompanied by the teacher who keep saying “sorry ah… cannot help you…” and den stormed inside n tell mr chua “sir, can I take leave today?”
Den went to staffroom talked to pn vijaya. I was hoping she’ll be giving out our results. But den it is pn zahariah la. Cos moment later saw pn wong came in and commanded “ooi… low… and zahariah… come come…”. And on her hand is a handful of papers… OUR RESULTS.
I went down to d canteen, on d way met… should I say “my ex-best fren”. Reached canteen, said hi hi hi and den SUDDENLY beaten hardly by someone on hand. I was caught off-guard. But was reli reli surprised to see him there (cos he said he wont come). When I ‘regain consciousness, zahariah is alr there. D 1st teacher to reach canteen.
Everyone who took deir results just take it and leave. Did not open on d spot. Just take n go home. There’s no shoutings, no yelling, no screaming, no crying or whatsoever. Just calm….
No more students from 6A1. den zahariah came and asked to see my results. I showed her, she hold my shoulder very very firmly, and said “Eh, bagus! Very good results you know! Bagus lah tu… congratulations…”
And den I cried. My calamity was broken. I felt I so not deserve d praise. I felt tat my results is not tat good, y she say good. I felt reli reli guilty. Many thoughts came at d same time. I cried even harder (cos keep thinking stupid thing la). Den my frens gather beside me patting me (sth I dun wan cos I dun wan gather attention n let ppl noe tat I’m actually crying!) zahariah continued saying things to comfort me, jo continued patting me. I felt calm once more.
Den I received a call from d person who beaten me so hardly. He said he’s at ktm station alr, rushing for work.
Den d call arrived. From my dad. D 1st thing tat come out from his mouth went straight to my heart “your bro and sis got 2A 2B and you got 1A 3B? do you know tat?” instantly my eyes flood again. I reli cant handle the comment. Not at all…
Den next is call from my bro “Ala, takpe lah… biarlah apa yang ayah cakap. Biarlah.” And said many many things tat I din pay attention to. I started gasping for air (so serious?)
And den calm again… just feel so malu why I received all d calls in canteen. So many ppl looking! Dno when my dear dear alr got her results and crying too. both of us suffered d same fate : ppl thinking out spm results very good, we hav relatives, neghbours and unrelated ppl who keeps say to our parents “wa… ur daughter so clever” and ppl around us all put very high hopes on us, saying “stpm sure no prob, sure 4.00” and things lik tat. Tats why when we got our results, we felt sad and guilty for letting them down… feel embarrassing when ppl ask us our results… tat is why oni d 2 of us cried…
Den Gabriel came, comforted me with his jokes and all…
I took leave tat day but I did not inform my dad. I went home d usual time : 7.05pm. What my bro told me kept ringing in my ears “ala…. Bawak kereta bagus ma. Nanti u takde mood ajar u boleh drive keluar sini sana” tats how I got d idea of ‘ponteng kerja’.
Maybe u all mite wana noe wat my mom said? “aiya, dun k your baba la. He’s like tat wan la. U get good results he also will say you wan lah”. Another similar dialog tat my mom once told me appeared “aiya.. wan mai go out la. U stay at home all day not tat he’ll say you guai. Go out also he scold. Dun go also he scold”
But den end up I reach home, my dad din even talk a word to me… nor come out from his room… is it good or bad?
Lastly, reli need to thank these ppl for being by my side all d while…
Lut yee who was there with me in d canteen since after skul till 5.30…
Gong who bought McFlurry to try to cheer me up…
Pn Zahariah, Puan Vijaya, Miss Lim… for their encouragements…
Mummy… akak… bang… for their “dun k your dad la” words…
Gabriel for trying to tell jokes…
Valerie for your hugs and many many words or courage…
STPM results will be out in less den 48 hours time... to be exact, in 37 hours time... so, i am here to make a wish and i really really hope you can help me realize it...
though people always say that dreams can't tell out, if not sure tak jadi, but then i still resort to this way... i hope you can feel my sincerity...
Dear God...
please bless me and all my friends... who i really cared... please bless us in getting really satisfying results... i don't dare to wish for 4.00, cos i know just how badly i did in the exam... wishing to get enough cpga to pursue the courses that i really love is a little too much also... so i just wish that i will get a cpga that i can really feel happy with... (secret)
and bless my other friends as well? ALL my friends who cares for me... they deserve it cos they worked hard for it...
thank you so much....
i love you....
sincerely, Mei Kin...
** P/S : to those reading this post, please note that NO one should sms or call or cantact me in any way on 10th Mac 2009 (Tuesday) from 11.00am till i finish mourning... thanks for your cooperation...
THANK YOU!!!! reli reli appreciate it... and... FRIENDSHIP FOREVER TOO!!!!
