Another Day of suffers...

just finish one day, another day come... let's see wat ppl in skul hav got to say...

MR CHUA
- Mk, how's ur results?
- not very good... also not very very bad...
- 4As ah?
* stunned *

PN JALILAH
- camne mei kin?
- tak bagus...
* she looked at d results, speechless for a while... den... *
- ok lah tu...

PN SHARIFAH
- MK! how's ur results??
- teacher, dun expect too much...
- o...k...
- nah...
- MEIKIN!!!!!!! i expected straight As from you!!!!! wat happen??????

MISS ASSUNTA
- if u need to talk to me, just call me anytime ok...

PN NORAIHAN
- ok lah tu... anyway congrats

EN CHAI
- 3.25 ok wat...

PN CHAI
- MK, dun so greedy ah... dun always hope can get straight As only.. congrats...

EN HUSEN
- apa yang salah mei kin? mengapa boleh macam nie? ish....

MISS LIONG
- enuf good alr la...

maybe tats all? but all dis is enuf to make me feel greatly unhappy... feel i disappoint dem...
haixxxx

Life goes on…

Sounds like lyrics in songs??

My results day…

Start off by reading newspaper… the horoscope section says that there’s a bit of luck at my side. I got pretty happy and excited. And then my dad asked me to go to the bank to bank in my cheque (my latest salary pay, only rm5xx)

There’s this OKU with crutches standing in front of me, having problem getting his number. So I helped him. And den wait and wait and wait….

Suddenly one old man (born in 1932) came and mumble sth tat I dun understand. And then dis Indian lady did sth tat looks lik “offering her help”. Later, d next number is announced (u noe la, in bank they got d number, den dey’ll announce d number d ma) den d Indian lady came to me and said “you please help him” or sth lik tat…

Rupa-rupanya tat uncle dno how to fill in d form. And when his number is called, d lady behind d counter just pass him a form, ask him to fill it up. Sudd feel tat d lady is just sooooooooo evil. Cant she help d old man who cant read BM? And den d old man keep mumble “last time they help me fill in de…”

I just fill in his name n his IC and account number (tats how I noe he’s born in 1932). Den he started mumbling over wat he want to do again… tat moment I feel so stupid cos my Cantonese is so bad, I cant barely understand wat he meant… -.-!!!

After finished I went n see d number on d screen. I got a shock knowing my number sudah terlepas! I pergi cari d paper bearing my number, mana tau rupa-rupanya got ppl take d advantage when I help d old man, to take d paper (I put d paper on d table when help d old man fill up his form). Geram!

And den I took a new number and waited… know wat I heard? Funeral music.

Den as I walked home, I saw a stream of ppl… it’s a funeral march la. I keep telling myself not to look not to look not to look… dat moment I start having dis thought “does it means sth bad is going to happen?”

Went to skul at 11.39am. My dad who still do not believe tat today is result day, said “if get results already call me a”. Apa tidak. The Star paper takde keluar. TV1 tak announce. Oni The Star online got.

Den I waited n waited n waited. I actually wanted to take leave, but my colleague cum STPM mate asked me dun take leave, accompany him. So I stupidly and innocently agreed lor. Mana tau when I call him he said “I think I’m taking MC today” (yala… he sounded so sick)

Immediately I asked a teacher to help me inform another teacher who’s in charge of relief tat I’m taking leave. End up d teacher came out and asked me talk to Mr Chua myself. Apa tidak. Everyone saw me in skul. Sudd I wan take leave. So I hav to go library (where dere’s teachers’ meeting dat day), accompanied by the teacher who keep saying “sorry ah… cannot help you…” and den stormed inside n tell mr chua “sir, can I take leave today?”

Den went to staffroom talked to pn vijaya. I was hoping she’ll be giving out our results. But den it is pn zahariah la. Cos moment later saw pn wong came in and commanded “ooi… low… and zahariah… come come…”. And on her hand is a handful of papers… OUR RESULTS.

I went down to d canteen, on d way met… should I say “my ex-best fren”. Reached canteen, said hi hi hi and den SUDDENLY beaten hardly by someone on hand. I was caught off-guard. But was reli reli surprised to see him there (cos he said he wont come). When I ‘regain consciousness, zahariah is alr there. D 1^st teacher to reach canteen.

Everyone who took deir results just take it and leave. Did not open on d spot. Just take n go home. There’s no shoutings, no yelling, no screaming, no crying or whatsoever. Just calm….

No more students from 6A1. den zahariah came and asked to see my results. I showed her, she hold my shoulder very very firmly, and said “Eh, bagus! Very good results you know! Bagus lah tu… congratulations…”

And den I cried. My calamity was broken. I felt I so not deserve d praise. I felt tat my results is not tat good, y she say good. I felt reli reli guilty. Many thoughts came at d same time. I cried even harder (cos keep thinking stupid thing la). Den my frens gather beside me patting me (sth I dun wan cos I dun wan gather attention n let ppl noe tat I’m actually crying!) zahariah continued saying things to comfort me, jo continued patting me. I felt calm once more.

Den I received a call from d person who beaten me so hardly. He said he’s at ktm station alr, rushing for work.

Den d call arrived. From my dad. D 1^st thing tat come out from his mouth went straight to my heart “your bro and sis got 2A 2B and you got 1A 3B? do you know tat?” instantly my eyes flood again. I reli cant handle the comment. Not at all…

Den next is call from my bro “Ala, takpe lah… biarlah apa yang ayah cakap. Biarlah.” And said many many things tat I din pay attention to. I started gasping for air (so serious?)

And den calm again… just feel so malu why I received all d calls in canteen. So many ppl looking! Dno when my dear dear alr got her results and crying too. both of us suffered d same fate : ppl thinking out spm results very good, we hav relatives, neghbours and unrelated ppl who keeps say to our parents “wa… ur daughter so clever” and ppl around us all put very high hopes on us, saying “stpm sure no prob, sure 4.00” and things lik tat. Tats why when we got our results, we felt sad and guilty for letting them down… feel embarrassing when ppl ask us our results… tat is why oni d 2 of us cried…

Den Gabriel came, comforted me with his jokes and all…

I took leave tat day but I did not inform my dad. I went home d usual time : 7.05pm. What my bro told me kept ringing in my ears “ala…. Bawak kereta bagus ma. Nanti u takde mood ajar u boleh drive keluar sini sana” tats how I got d idea of ‘ponteng kerja’.

Maybe u all mite wana noe wat my mom said? “aiya, dun k your baba la. He’s like tat wan la. U get good results he also will say you wan lah”. Another similar dialog tat my mom once told me appeared “aiya.. wan mai go out la. U stay at home all day not tat he’ll say you guai. Go out also he scold. Dun go also he scold”

But den end up I reach home, my dad din even talk a word to me… nor come out from his room… is it good or bad?

Lastly, reli need to thank these ppl for being by my side all d while…

Lut yee who was there with me in d canteen since after skul till 5.30…

Gong who bought McFlurry to try to cheer me up…

Pn Zahariah, Puan Vijaya, Miss Lim… for their encouragements…

Mummy… akak… bang… for their “dun k your dad la” words…

Gabriel for trying to tell jokes…

Valerie for your hugs and many many words or courage…

Jo… Fei Ling…

Life has to go on after all… =)

Dear God...

Dear God...

STPM results will be out in less den 48 hours time... to be exact, in 37 hours time... so, i am here to make a wish and i really really hope you can help me realize it...

though people always say that dreams can't tell out, if not sure tak jadi, but then i still resort to this way... i hope you can feel my sincerity...

Dear God...

please bless me and all my friends... who i really cared... please bless us in getting really satisfying results... i don't dare to wish for 4.00, cos i know just how badly i did in the exam... wishing to get enough cpga to pursue the courses that i really love is a little too much also... so i just wish that i will get a cpga that i can really feel happy with... (secret)

and bless my other friends as well? ALL my friends who cares for me... they deserve it cos they worked hard for it...

thank you so much....

i love you....

sincerely,
Mei Kin...

** P/S : to those reading this post, please note that NO one should sms or call or cantact me in any way on 10th Mac 2009 (Tuesday) from 11.00am till i finish mourning... thanks for your cooperation...

bless me!!!

i was watching tv when ik sms me and say tat stpm results will b cuming out next tues, 10th mac 2009

i sudd find myself unable to breath...... how? how?? how????

for the time being my mind is still unable to process any news. i cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!

No Eye See

d new classes...

2E 2N are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo noisy.

well, i will just close one eye. they noisy noisy la. they dun study, they go for tuition. tat's d trend wat. those hu going for tuition wun listen to wat teachers are teaching at skul.

kids o kids~~~

D DAY!!!

yes.... d day has arrived when i finally got hold of my 1st salary... hard earn money...

* fri i was called back to KB to work cos azuraini bersalin alr *

though not very like work dere, but hav to cos being forced by someone...

anyway, after get my salary, just wana thank someone... he is the oni one who tell me ENDLESSLY... EVERY night... "Gua... dun compare with other people... u sad only... come... guai... u work is learn and get experience only ma... "

many times i scolded him back... but nonetheless without bored he'll say tat everyday...

and now, i got d reward... my 1st salary...

THANK YOU GONG!!! ^^

last day...

as d title suggests... yes.. my last day of work today

*controlling my anger. just get a shocking news*

back to d last day thing 1st. was dedicated-ly writing record book. rancangan mengajar. for today and TOMORROW.

suddenly chua came over. said d usual sorry thing. den said "but in morning pn wong needs ppl to teach maths. mayb u shud ask her" *rays of hope*

reached dere. wong asked me take over miss teoh's classes. (she teaches f4 and f5 maths and add maths. she dinaik pangkat b GPK koko. so cant hold many classes) i said ok. den she said need ask ong see how 1st. cos teoh oni got 9 periods (normal teachers got 26 periods in average)

den waited for ong. explained all. ong said "ok la. let her continue la"

wong "tats y i hav to ask u u see.. teoh oni has 9 periods... and ooi has agreed to take her classes til lower 6 came in. (pn ooi supposed to teach lower 6 maths. since lower 6 haven cum in, she got many free periods)

den talk punya talk. at last they said i hav to stop working. till another teacher (BM techer, pn azuraini) go on labour. which is on 13th feb. so ok lor. mai wait lor.

den azuraini saw me. she knows i'm stopping. she said "awak gantilah tempat cikgu. cikgu ajar BM. awak BM ok ape. nanti cikgu bagitau mr chua"

AND NOW!!!!! FEW MINUTES AGO!!!!!!!!!!

joanne told me chua said they'll keep her. (jo ganti tengku aliza. tengku aliza cuming back 7.02.09. chua asked jo to stay till azuraini bersalin! they taking her to ganti azuraini!)

I WAS DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they holding TWO ppl for ONE job?

or they think i lutsinar!!!!!!!

FINE. was reli angry.

now... tell me. how to face dis?

i reli feel i need someone, b4 i fall to d ground, out of disappointment....

why god wants do dis to me.... when he no longer sms me everyday oni u do dis to me... now hu am i going to tell out to!!!!!!!!!!!

DISTRESS!